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Scholars from the University of Wisconsin-Madison discuss common beliefs about language in general and the English language in particular through the lens of their own research.

A lens on life in the margins...
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Recovering from your partner's extramarital affair?
Listen to Michael talk about Surviving Infidelity
I'm truly sorry, I know how devastating this is. You probably feel that your world has exploded and you're struggling to piece it back together.
No-one wants to go through what you're going through at the moment. If there's any way I can help, let me know.
You've got so many feelings going on for you at the moment. Most likely, anger at your partner, anger at the person your partner was fooling around with. Maybe you feel you want revenge. That you'll never want to forgive your partner for doing this to you. Inadequate, because your partner went outside of the relationship – does that mean it's something you can't or haven't provided? So many overwhelming thoughts, emotions and questions, so few answers.
What next?
You're already looking for answers about how to deal with the situation you're in. So let me talk you through some of the things you may be considering or will want to consider.
I'll go through these in a bit more detail in a minute, but:
• Do you want to break up? How do you make the decision?
• Already going through a break up? How do you handle it?
• Want to piece it back together? Despite everything your partner has put you through, maybe you still have that gut feeling that piecing it all back together is the best thing to do.
• How to come back together? How to heal the past and move on?
So let's look at each of those options in a bit more detail.
Do you want to break up?
This is just a web page, just a piece of writing. As much as I'd like to give you great guidance on whether you should break up, with the emotional turmoil you're going through, I think it would be irresponsible of me to talk you through this in writing. I'm happy to do so by coaching you personally. But there are a few things I stop short of giving advice on, on a website. This is one of them.
However, you may want to consider a few of these questions. They won't give you a 100% concrete answer in your head, but it may help to clarify your thoughts. To help orientate you in a direction and to get your head clear enough to start to seek the help you need at a time like this.
• What does your partner say they want? Are you convinced they mean it? What do you need to do to be convinced?
• If you knew they would never stray again, and you knew you could get to a place where you had forgiven them, how would you feel about living out your life with them?
• Before you knew about the affair, on a scale of 1-10, how would you have rated your relationship?
• Who else will be affected by you breaking up and what will the impact be on them, now and in the future?
• If you can find out the real reasons your partner had the affair, and come to truly understand them and both of you change the relationship to address what was missing, how will you feel about re-forging the relationship with them?
• Are you in a place right now where you think you can make the right decision about whether to stay or leave? If not, how much time do you want to tell your partner you need to consider your next steps?
For me the key is the last point. If you need more time to make your decision then tell your partner. If they're desperate to repair the damage they've done this is the least they'll do for you.
You may also want to take a look at 'Should I stay or should I go?' This is a book I wrote that was intended for people struggling to make their decision. The reason why I didn't recommend this to you primarily is because the emotional battering of finding out about and dealing with an affair makes this decision so much more difficult for you. And it is already one of the most difficult decisions to make in personal relationships.
Already going through a break up?
Maybe you've already decided. Or maybe you and your partner have agreed and have started to break up. Take a read at the section on how to get over a break up.
When it was written it wasn't done with you in mind. I wasn't considering the break up as specifically being as a result of an affair. However, the steps are fundamentally the same. The steps may take a bit longer, particularly near the beginning.
My additional thoughts on your break up process?
The toughest part for you is going to be 'feeling your feelings'. You're still likely to have those same questions going through your head. Why did it happen? What did I do wrong? Why me?
Here's some tough love. As long as you ask those questions you're always going to get shitty answers. They're just shitty questions. There are no great answers to those questions. So if you want to feel shitty, keep asking them. This may be difficult to understand straight away. But you need to ask yourself different questions...
• If my partner did this with malice, are they the right person for me?
• If they had the affair because there was something missing in our relationship, aren't they partly responsible for that being missing too?
• What can I do to make sure (to the best of my ability) this doesn't happen again in my future relationships?
• What didn't I like about my partner that I can find in my future partner?
• Although it's difficult to understand now, how might this make me a stronger and better person?
• What can I do now, who can I meet and what can I achieve now that I'm no longer in that relationship?
There are lots of better questions you can ask yourself than the standard three. Honestly, it's OK to ask yourself the standard three too- just don't wallow in it. Become aware that you're doing it, stop yourself and ask some better questions.
Want to piece your relationship back together?
A significant percentage of people do piece their relationships back together after one partner has had an affair. It's not unusual, but it does take a massive commitment from both partners to work through the emotional fall out and to determine the real reasons that your partner strayed.
That means them being honest. It also then means both of you being prepared to change, so that those reasons can't exist again. Add to that the most significant of issues – how can you bring yourself to trust your partner and how do you forgive them.
There's a short piece on trust and forgiveness on the cheating spouse page. I'd suggest having a quick read at that now.
Forgiving and re-gaining trust is the biggest hurdle to having a relationship with your partner again. It's a mountain to climb. Full of dangerous chasms and requiring faith and determination. When you need help on the climb, get in touch.
http://www.therelationshipgym.com/contact.htm
Related help
How to save your relationship
Extramarital affair
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At long last, it's a podcast with a smart-punk sensibility; A forum where I, Mike Phelan O'Toole (Mike-O) make you think, laugh, love, cry, hurl, cower in fear, or all of the above.
As a young person coming up in the world of art and entertainment, I have much to say, yet struggle with finding new and exciting ways to say it. Hear me, as I work out eclectic and entertaining musings and abusings, cast straight from my mind to your pod. You are in for a treat, with such diverse ear candy to audibly suck on, in the form of chatter concerning my experiences with music, music videos, filmmaking, video production, writing, radio, college life, rockstar life, comedy, celebrity gossip, poetry, substance abuse, fitness and wellness, public speaking, independent and community media, insomnia, theories on immortality, inspiration and much more.
Are you an anxious artist, who just wants some answers in the form of hearing that you are NOT alone? Do you enjoy talk about girls and blowjobs? From the philosophical to the absurd, I leave no stone unturned, and pander to no one other than the voices in my head. This is creative catharsis; from real candidness to ridiculous randomness, listen to hear me wail about working with your favorite entertainer, or just to embrace me as your new favorite stranger. Come play with me, as you play me (on MP3). This chatterfest is for you! Put it on your iPod and feel like you know me. Don't worry, I wont megabyte you or anything. However, if you don't like my audible offerings, you can suck my HTML code.
Although the majority of these posts are done by phone, rest assured that Im NOT just phoning it in, so to speak. I take a lot of pride in expression and verbiage, and it is a privilege to have fans and supporters of what I do out there. Please subscribe to my cast to never miss a beat and share my words with friends, family, or people you hold close in hopes of watching them fail.
You can subscribe through the sexy feed at http://feeds.feedburner.com/MikePhelanOToolePodcast
Feel free to contact me with any questions, comments, or love letters at MikeOVideo@gmail.com and the AIM screen name The Soul Enigma, or through http://www.myspace.com/MikeOToole and http://www.MikeOToole.blogspot.com
I appreciate your support.
Rock on, and thanks for lending me your ears, if only for a few precious minutes of this crazy life of ours!
M.

At long last, it's a podcast with a smart-punk sensibility; A forum where I, Mike Phelan O'Toole (Mike-O) make you think, laugh, love, cry, hurl, cower in fear, or all of the above.
As a young person coming up in the world of art and entertainment, I have much to say, yet struggle with finding new and exciting ways to say it. Hear me, as I work out eclectic and entertaining musings and abusings, cast straight from my mind to your pod. You are in for a treat, with such diverse ear candy to audibly suck on, in the form of chatter concerning my experiences with music, music videos, filmmaking, video production, writing, radio, college life, rockstar life, comedy, celebrity gossip, poetry, substance abuse, fitness and wellness, public speaking, independent and community media, insomnia, theories on immortality, inspiration and much more.
Are you an anxious artist, who just wants some answers in the form of hearing that you are NOT alone? Do you enjoy talk about girls and blowjobs? From the philosophical to the absurd, I leave no stone unturned, and pander to no one other than the voices in my head. This is creative catharsis; from real candidness to ridiculous randomness, listen to hear me wail about working with your favorite entertainer, or just to embrace me as your new favorite stranger. Come play with me, as you play me (on MP3). This chatterfest is for you! Put it on your iPod and feel like you know me. Don't worry, I wont megabyte you or anything. However, if you don't like my audible offerings, you can suck my HTML code.
Although the majority of these posts are done by phone, rest assured that Im NOT just phoning it in, so to speak. I take a lot of pride in expression and verbiage, and it is a privilege to have fans and supporters of what I do out there. Please subscribe to my cast to never miss a beat and share my words with friends, family, or people you hold close in hopes of watching them fail.
You can subscribe through the sexy feed at http://feeds.feedburner.com/MikePhelanOToolePodcast
Feel free to contact me with any questions, comments, or love letters at MikeOVideo@gmail.com and the AIM screen name The Soul Enigma, or through http://www.myspace.com/MikeOToole and http://www.MikeOToole.blogspot.com
I appreciate your support.
Rock on, and thanks for lending me your ears, if only for a few precious minutes of this crazy life of ours!
M.

http://www.allaboutmaxgxl.com It's an amazing feeling when you have a personal breakthrough! At times we get stuck in our past and are unable to push forward. We make excuses and fail to commit.
We often ask ourselves, "Who Am I?". We struggle and contemplate about our worth and value, but we don't need to! To need is to believe you lack something. So stop processing and accept your worth by just "being".
So, who am I? I am comfortable and I am enough! I am a woman in power who is strong, smart and beautiful! I take action and produce results!
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This week: An Interview with ELVIRA.
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Music by CALABRESE from the Podsafe Music Network

From the radio show "Understanding Mortgages", previously broadcast on WVNJ 1160AM. These shows will increase the listener's understanding of these topics, although since these recordings, mortgage products, programs, underwriting guidelines, required documentation and economic conditions may have changed. Contact the host directly for up to date information.

Sportive Baile Funked up jazzy audio joints. Berlin based Mr Phipson presents you an urban mixture of tunes from the past and future. Bossa Nova, Jazzed Up Beats, Electronica, Tropicalectro, Brazilian Beats, Tropicalia, Rare Grooves, Afro-Latinized Funk, Drums'n Breaks, Drum'n Bossa, Deep Beats, Baile Funk, Hippy Hoppy and other funky oddities. From the good old times back in the days to the era of dual processor powered favela funk. The sound of shantytowns worldwide from underground to Roots Jazz and all the good things inbetween. Stay open minded, discover krazee urban soundtracks and tune in to Mr Phipson's incredible Podcast!
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Multiplex PC provides powerful multiple monitor solutions for industries such as stock trading, online poker, AutoCAD, recording engineers and many more. Contact us today for more information on multiple monitors.

This podcast features film music and concert works by Beth Caucci.
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